Change of climate

Last Saturday night I joined 7 other women to watch all 6 parts of a recently aired German mini-series called "Klimawechsel" ("Change of Climate" -- the pun works so much better in German!).  It was a riot.  Written and partially directed by Doris Dorrie, one of the top ladies in German filmmaking, each episode takes perimenopause head on, showing in a somewhat exaggerated manner how difficult "The Change" can be.  Well-known German actresses play the teachers trying to deal with their own wacky hormones while keeping their high school charges in line, and the resulting situations are by turns embarrassing, comic and frighteningly realistic.   Rather than admit their need for help to each other, they seek out professionals -- a neurotic psycologist and a scheming female ob-gyn who has her own issues with aging.   The husbands and partners seem to be not only clueless, but also helpless, adding to the general amusement of the show.

As the group watching spanned the ages of mid-forties to early-sixties, we could all appreciate the very direct and rapid-fire dialogue, mostly bursting out in laughter in unison.  Night sweats, weight gain and an out-of-kilt sex drive (either in overdrive or nonexsistant) --  portrayed in vivid hilarity -- are things we have all experienced, at least I think so.  Curiously enough, just like in the show where each woman fends for herself, this is not a subject that we openly discuss with one another.  During the course of the evening I never once heard the conversation veer toward anyone's own experiences in perimenopause.  Instead, between episodes, helping ourselves to the finger-food buffet, we commented on the actresses, discussed the group of women celebrating carnival a few doors down and lamented the current invasion of fruit flies.  True, this was not a close-knit group of friends so it should have come as no surprise that we didn't get into intimate decussions, but I wouldn't have minded swapping war stories about menopause.  I, for one, have suffered through many of these "fun" symtoms (except that I don't sweat -- I tend to just have powerful hot flashes at night)  but my gynecologist assures me I have almost reached the other side.


Following the final episode, as we were all yawning and stretching (six times 45 minutes in front of the box really make you want to come up for air, although I suspect younger generations have no problem with this), the conversation became more interesting.  One of the women commented how during the course of shows, the men also went throught their own transformations.  Hmm, I thought, she's right, but I did not even notice as I was watching.  Sure enough, one of the guys had a full blown mid-life crisis, complete with sports car and affair with a younger woman.  Shows how much I was paying attention.  Then someone else casually compared this series to the American show "Sex and the CIty", and that is when I really woke up.  I've never actually seen the show or either of the movies, but I do know that the women portrayed are younger and much more glamorous then the series that we had just watched.  Yes, it was generally accepted that the two shows were not comparable, however apparently at least one character in SatC has some issues with perimenopause.  Then came the topper -- "Well, it is all so fake anyway.  I just hate it when the women in all those American films scream out in excitment upon seeing each other" threw in one friend.

I was caught off-guard, but my sister-in-law, who has known me since I was 17, quickly replied that that wasn't so fake -- it is a cultural thing and that really is what American women do.  During our long friendship and on trips to the USA, she has gotten an inside view of what makes Americans tick.  She turned to me and said "I can imagine you doing that if you ran into an old friend". Not only would I, I explained, only 3 weeks ago I DID scream and flutter, as I met old friends at my college's Homecoming.


People from the USA are (justifiably) perceived in Europe as a loud and boistous bunch, and I have become European enough that it sometimes makes me uncomfortable to be with Americans that inevitably draw attention to themselves.  My friend Claudia recently commented that she never thought of me as an American until she read my blog, as I blend in here pretty well.  But put me back in the States, and I can scream and flutter with the best of them!