Greetings

I've expounded on friendships in Germany, but have yet to mention how Germans will walk right past one another on the street without a hint of eye contact, a smile or any form of greeting.  In the town where I grew up, people were quick to greet one another, even if they were not acquainted, so I was unprepared for the seeming rudeness of this culture when I first moved here.  Back then, Christof warned me to be careful whom I smiled at in passing, as it could very possibly be interpreted the wrong way.  Turns out he was right, so I curbed my natural instinct to acknowledge passersby, but inside I thought this was a cold folk indeed.  Yet soon enough I was acting just like one of them, finding the exact moment to look away to expertly avoid eye contact when walking past anyone.

For their part, Germans do not understand what makes a cashier in the States ask "How are you today?", when she really only means "Hello".  They think USAmericans* are quite superficial, not only in their greetings, but also in their relationships.  I can't wholly disagree with this observation, as in my own experience, in the States, "Let's get together sometime" is code for "Maybe we will see each other again, but also maybe not.  Whatever."  And "Give me a call sometime" often means the exact opposite.  Does the word "sometime" have a secret meaning that I have missed out on?. 


But back to the subject at hand. Once I had lived here for a while, I understood that although they are distant with strangers, Germans are anything but cold with those closest to them.  While chatting with the person ahead of them in line is not their strong suit, hugs, kisses and handshakes are the greetings of choice among friends.  When they ask "How are you?", they really are interested, even if they prefer to hear the short answer.

And apparently I am not the only one who prefers cheery supeficiality to a reserved manner or downright churlishness at the check-out counter or on the phone.  In the last years there has been a marked increase in pleasant voices, both in stores and on the telephone wires, as if marketing instructors are now taking their cues from practices abroad.  I think it is a wonderful development and respond to all efforts on this front with my own smiles and wishes for a good day.


I've even gone back to greeting strangers I pass on the street --  at my age there is no longer a danger that anyone will take it the wrong way.  Along with the confused looks and stuttered responses from most passersby, I have made a startling observation:  senior citizens tend to light up when spoken to, and they happily return my greetings, even if we have never met before.  Maybe these folks have mellowed with age, or maybe times were different when they were young, but it is heartwarming to to see their faces shine.  Plus it brings back just a little bit of that Southern warmth of my childhood.................... 


*As my boys have recently pointed out, the term "American" applies to ALL citizens of North and South America, even if it is commonly used to mean US citizens.  In an effort to be politically correct, I will try to use the phrase USAmerican, but old habits may be tough to break.